


Random Inspiration

by Niji_Hitomi_Iscariot



Category: Bleach, Homestuck, One Piece, World of Warcraft, will add more later - Fandom
Genre: Character Death, Dancing and Singing, Dreambubbles, F/M, Fantasy AU, Gangam Style, Gratuitous Swearing, Illustrated, M/M, Magic AU, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Michael Jackson - Freeform, NSFW, Other, Parody, Political Drama, Post-SBurb AU, Random Drabbles, Song Parody, TWEEST, Tentabulges, Tumblr, Xenobiology, Yaoi, all of this will be expanded as I add to it, hemospectrum issues, highpants, nook virgin, off-screen Eridan, possible blood sl--THEY GET THE FUCKING POINT!, stress-relief sex, vantascest
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-05-15
Updated: 2013-08-08
Packaged: 2017-12-11 23:12:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 8
Words: 7,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/804334
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niji_Hitomi_Iscariot/pseuds/Niji_Hitomi_Iscariot
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of my drabbles across multiple fandoms. Basically anything under 1000 words goes here. Sometimes with pictures. Read the chapter summaries for more info on each one.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Seasons Come, Seasons Go, with Summer Sun and Winter Snow

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspired by [Winter - Summer by ~sanzashi on deviantART](http://fav.me/d6599vz)

The Prince of Summer and the Winter Queen, forced apart by the distance of seasons, never to touch. He burned with the fire of high noon, hot and forever shining like the unending sun. She, though frozen, was like the snowflake, delicate and shy, but for all she was solitary as the moon, she was lonely in her frigid palace. He kept life going, tried its strength and tempered its mettle, plying it with food and stage for combat. She protected the sleepers, a blanket of heavy snow insulating their homes from the outside. Then, after many eons of circling each other, Summer to Winter, Winter to Summer, he caught glimpse of something unique and special—a dusting of front across his vibrant plants. So enthralled was he by the delicate crystals that he reached out to touch the frozen blades, but before his fingertips could brush them the heat of his body chased them away, the pale blue skirting down the deep green as he gasped in disappointment. His light dimmed then, as a sadness over took his heart. He had to give her something in return, but what? He went to his trees, spoke with each of their souls, begging one of them to resist the pull of sleep when the cold set in. One small prickly bush piped up when all others refused. He bent over the little plant with a proud smile, and blessed her head with a crown of berries as red as the blood in his veins. When the Winter Queen came again, the little bush took her breath away. For years she had been in love from a distance, always watching but never touching, for her own frozen hands withered and blackened his beautiful flowers. So, when she reached out and the only thing that happened to the little bush was a shiver, she laughed bright and happily. To respond, the Winter Queen gave the Prince of Summer another layer of sparkling diamonds over the bush’s berry-crown. This proposal they both accepted, and between them came two seasons where Summer’s Heat and Winter’s Cold could co-exist. All thanks to the bravery of a little, thorny-leafed bush named Holly.


	2. Shades of Gold

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A young swordsman encounters a dragon.

It was restless. The natives said it hadn’t been this disconcerting a generations. Smoke billowed from the ventilation shafts, surrounding the peak in heavy, noxious clouds. They clenched the oxygen from the air, starved the plants and created a crown of scoured rock. Deep within the mountain the beast shifted, sliding dry scales against hard metal with a subtle hissing sound. To the outside observer it was difficult to discern where the creature ended and the hoard began, so similar were the colors that glittered under what little sunlight filtered through the smoke. Even the chemicals hanging in the air shimmered in a transparent reflection of the brilliant shades of gold heaped around the cavernous interior of the mountain. The mound heaved again and delicately scaled nostrils lifted to a opening barely large enough for the monstrosity’s tongue to flick out, tasting the air, and exhaled a plume of the sulfurous smoke.

_It is not enough._

At the base of the mountain, a tiny village shuddered, the signs ominous and foreboding. Quaint houses, long stained by the yellow air, nestled beneath sickly trees, their paint peeling, the streets unpaved and uncobbled. The signs were faded and long over-worn, and no one ventured out for very long. Though no one had seen the dragon for centuries, none doubted its presence. Rumor spoke of an unsatisfied hunger, that at one time the great beast had ravaged the countryside with a burning one-eyed glare, and spewing fire hotter than the Devil’s own from its massive jaws. In the beginning, according to legend, heroes tried to slay the monster, but none succeeded. They said it was searching for something, and though it lay dormant now, it was still looking for the cure to its unending desire. Jewels and riches did nothing for it, though the villagers drove themselves into bankruptcy pouring their gold and silver upon the ridges, and though it never outright demanded for the tithes, it accepted them. But still;

_It is not enough._

Then, just before the first freeze of the Dark Season, a young man wandered into town. Tall, well-built, with broad shoulders and calloused hands. He had a dark, serious expression, and the scars of hard work carved into his body under his simple shirt and trousers. From his ear hung three plain pendants, and at his hip he carried the swords of his lost sister and father beside his own. He was quiet, looking for work, and no hero. Many of the towns people tried to encourage him to challenge the dragon, but he refused. Glory was nothing to him. Riches were only useful to keeping a roof over his head and food in his belly. And fame was something the foolish chased after. He was none of these things. He was satisfied just earning his living and moving on.

_It was enough._

So, it was happenstance when he got turned around on the side of the mountain and stumbled into the cavern that glowed with reflected sunlight dying over his shoulder. Something caught his attention and the first of his swords was out faster than he could blink. Just a small movement, a shift of something that did react like the wind was blowing it. He spun, trying to find the offending light, but saw nothing in the expanse of gold. It was hard to tell if the sun made the stone colored, or if the soft metal had been melted against it. In either case it was nearly blinding. There was a clatter, the slither of something through coins, and the young man spun again, two swords out this time. Still nothing. He glared into the brightness, silently daring the whatever-it-was to show itself. With grunt, he tucked the white hilt of his sister’s sword between his teeth so he could draw the third blade, black and cursed from the wrongful death of his father. He stood ready to face the beast, certain now that he’d wandered into its lair.

_It was enough._

With a flash of bright steel against brilliant gold the _CLANG!_ rang out, echoing and rebounding through the mountain, the man and the dragon forced apart with a thunderous force. There was a shout the swordsman hadn’t made, and he straightened out of his crouch to see his opponent. Sprawled on the treasures a lithe form, too beautiful to be human, pushed itself up onto its hands, shaking its head. Soft, pale yellow hair fell over half of its face and a single, piercing blue eye landed on the swordsman. The other young man stood, for now, as the light solidified, it clearly was a tall, athletic male with a shimmer of gold across his skin, and frowned, confused. He ran his hands down his front, across his stomach and gasped. The hunger, the drive was gone. He stepped forward, gratitude overwhelming the air between the two.

_You are enough._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Inspiration: 
> 
> No wealth no ruin no silver no gold  
>  nothing satisfies me but your soul  
> ~ Oh Death by Jen Titus


	3. Even the Emperor Needs Relief Sometimes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Drifting through the dreambubbles, Signless has come across a timeline where his descendant, Karkat, has ascended to the throne as His Imperial Devastation, but all is not well within the reborn empire. Especially with the over-worked, over-stressed emperor. His solution may not be convential, but it works at least.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Written on MSPARP with Mel (from Trailerstuck, not sure if she has an individual AO3 pseud) and not edited.

Signless [♋] joined chat.

His Imperial Devastation [CG] joined chat.

CG: WHY ARE YOU IN MY THRONE ROOM AGAIN!? OR HAVE I STUMBLED INTO YOUR DREAM BUBBLE THIS TIME?

♋: *IDLY GLANCES 9VER AT HIS DESCENDANT, ARCHING AN EYE6R9W* PERHAPS 69TH? PERHAPS IT WAS Y9U WH9 6R9UGHT ME HERE?

CG: UH, NO I DOUBT IT. EVERY TIME I GET INTO A CONVERSATION WITH ANY OF MY BLOODLINE MY HEAD WINDS UP HURTING. LAST TIME I CROSSED PATHS WITH YOU, YOU WERE RANTING ABOUT THE FACT THAT I'M FUCKED OVER WHEN IT COMES TO BALANCING THE HEMOSPECTRUM.

♋: THE HEM9SPECTRUM CAN'T 6E 6ALANCED IF 9NE RULES 9VER THE MANY AND IF 9NE SIDE IS PRIVELAGED AGAINST THE 9THER. 6UT I THINK I'VE SAID ALL I'VE NEEDED T9 9N THAT SU6JECT T9 GIVE Y9U PERHAPS, S9ME F99D F9R TH9UGHT.

CG: YEAH, THANKS FOR THAT. MY THINKPAN'S SO STUFFED IT THINKS IT'S 12 PERIGREE'S EVE UP IN HERE, COMPLETE WITH ROASTED BIRDBEAST-INDUCED COMA. DON'T YOU THINK THAT IF I HAD SOME CLUE HOW TO BALANCE SHIT I WOULD HAVE? I MEAN...IT'S NOT LIKE ANY ONE COLOR IS EXCLUDED FROM MY GOVERNMENT!

♋: I'LL ADMIT I KN9W LITTLE 9F Y9UR G9VERMENT STRUCTURE AND MAY6E HASTY T9 JUDGE Y9U 6UT I'VE LIVED UNDER TYRANTS 6EF9RE AND I D9 N9T WISH T9 SEE M9RE GH9STS DRIFTING THR9UGH THE 6U66LES, ASKING ME WHY THEY HAD T9 DIE...

CG: WELL GEE THANKS SO FUCKING MUCH FOR BELIEVING IN ME. WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU ARE?! WHO THE FUCK DO YOU THINK I WAS RAISED TO FOLLOW?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

♋: I AM Y9UR ANCEST9R, Y9UR SIRE, THE TR9LL FR9M WHICH Y9U SPAWNED KARKAT. THE TR9LL THAT HELD Y9UR EGG THE DAY RIGHT 6EF9RE HE DIED AND FELT N9THING 6UT L9VE AND W9RRY F9R Y9U, WANTING Y9U T9 6E SAFE, HAPPY, AND T9 HAVE A FUTURE I W9ULD NEVER EXPERIENCE.

CG: THEN WHY IN ALL OF PARADOX SPACE WOULD YOU THINK I WOULDN'T DO ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING I POSSIBLY COULD THINK OF TO MAKE SURE NO ONE ELSE EVER HAD TO SUFFER THE KIND OF SHIT YOU AND I PUT UP WITH GROWING UP? DID YOU KNOW CERULEANS, TYRIANS AND LIMES ARE ALL MUTANTS TOO? CUZ THEY ARE. THE ONLY REASON THE FISHBITCH ROSE TO POWER IN THE FIRST PLACE WAS BECAUSE SHE OUT LIVED THE OLD HIGHBLOODS AND KILLED THE PREVIOUS GOVERNMENT AFTER BONDING TO THAT HORRORTERROR. IT WAS THE FUCKING FIRST THING WE CULLED IN THE REVOLUTION. THE REST WAS JUST A MATTER OF SHOWING HEMOPHOBIC ASSHOLES HOW STUPID THEY WERE BEING, CUMULATING IN A MERCY CULLING THAT WAS BLOWN OUT OF PROPORTION BY THE NEWS MEDIA, BIG FUCKING SURPRISE THERE. SINCE THEN I'VE SET UP MY MONARCHY WITH REPRESENTATIVES OF THE WHOLE FUCKING HEMOSPECTRUM IN KEY, IMPORTANT POSITIONS. THERE IS LITERALLY ONLY SO MUCH I CAN FUCKING DO CONTROL THE FUCKASS MASSES.

♋: Y9U D9N'T NEED T9 C9NTR9L Y9UR PE9PLE. Y9U NEED T9 PR9TECT Y9UR PE9PLE *STANDS UP, STRETCHING A 6IT* 6UT I DID N9T C9ME HERE T9 PICK A FIGHT WITH Y9U AND CAUSE Y9U M9RE UNDUE STRESS. THIS TIME I'M HERE T9 LISTEN T9 Y9U AND Y9UR W9RRIES, Y9UR QUESTI9NS, WHAT HAVE Y9U. IT IS TIME PERAHPS Y9U TAKE A FEW M9MMENTS T9 6E SELFISH, PARD9N THE FISH PUN, AND PERHAPS D9 A LITTLE S9UL SEARCHING Y9URSELF? *SLIGHT SMILE*

CG: SOUL SEARCHING? ABOUT WHAT EXACTLY? *SQUIRMS A BIT AT THE FISH PUN LIKE HIS SHIRT DOESN'T FIT RIGHT AND BLUSHES*

♋: WELL, DIVING INT9 THE DEPTHS 9F Y9UR 6EING, SEARCHING Y9UR 9CEAN 9F MEM9RIES AND EXPERIENCES F9R THE HIDDEN SEA6EAST Y9U ARE, T9 ST9P "FL9UNDERING" A69UT IN THE SAND6AR AND GET Y9UR HEAD 9N STRAIGHT *HE SAYS, SMILING WIDER* 9R PERHAPS JUST FL9PPING UP 9N THE DECK LIKE A CAUGHT FISH IS H9W Y9U PASS Y9UR TIME?

CG: I...I...YOU MEAN EMBRACING MY AQUATIC HERITAGE OR...I MEAN I DON'T HAVE...I'M NOT ASHAMED OF MYSELF!! MUCH. *LOOKS INCREASINGLY FLUSTERED, PULLING A LITTLE AT THE FRONT OF HIS SHIRT* I JUST...IT ISN'T...I'M...IS IT HOT IN HERE?

♋: I D9NT SEE ANYFIN WR9NG WITH 6EING A SEADWELLER 9R EVEN PART SEADWELLER KARKAT. AND GETTING H9T IN HERE? I THINK IT IS M9RE LUKEWARM? WATEREVER IS THE MATTER? Y9U L99K A 6IT FLUSTERED. C9ME N9W D9N'T 6E S9 "K9I". Y9U CAN TELL ME.

CG: IT'S JUST...LONELY. I HAVE MY MOIRAIL AND EVERYFIN, BUT THAT'S SO PALE. NOBODY ELSE KNOWS. *PULLS AT HIS SHIRT AGAIN, SPECIFICALLY TRYING TO GET THE FABRIC AWAY FROM HIS RIBS, WHERE OTHERS HAVE THEIR GRUBSCARS*

♋: *HE M9VES CL9SER T9 HIM* S9UNDS LIKE Y9U NEED S9ME9NE T9 HEAR Y9UR SIREN S9NG AND SPAWN UP WITH Y9U IN A GR9TT9. IS THERE ANY9NE IN PARTICULAR Y9U FLUSH CRUSH 9F LATE?

CG: NO. THE LAST ONE I FLUSHED FOR...SHE LIKES THE HUMAN BETTER...PROBABLY MY OWN FAULT REALLY. I WAS WORRIED THAT SHE WOULD FIND OUT ABOUT... *HE MAKES A VAGUE GESTURE REGARDING HIS SIDE*

♋: Y9UR GRU6 SCARS I TAKE IT....? *APPR9ACHES AND LIGHTLY GRA6S THE HEM 9F HIS SHIRT* D9 Y9U MIND IF I L99K AND 6EE THE JUDGE 9F IF THIS IS S9MEFIN W9RTH 6URYING IN THE SAND?

CG: THEY...THEY AREN'T... *HE BLUSHED BUT DID NOTHING TO PREVENT HIS ANCESTOR FROM REMOVING THE ARTICLE OF CLOTHING. HE EVEN RAISED HIS ARMS SO THE MATERIAL COULD SLIDE OFF EASIER. AND THERE, IN BRIGHT CANDY RED, WERE THE FIBROUS FILAMENTS OF A SEADWELLER'S GILLS, FLEXING LIGHTLY THOUGH INEFFECTIVELY IN THE DRY AIR. HIS FACE FLUSHED DEEPER.* THE FOLLOWERS COULDN'T FIGURE OUT A WAY OF REMOVING THEM WITHOUT KILLING ME LIKE THEY COULD WHEN THEY MAIMED MY HANDS.

♋: *HE RAISES A HAND T9 LIGHTLY RU6 A FEW FINGERS 9VER THE GILLS* 6EAUTIFUL.

♋: *HE C9NTINUES T9 LIGHTLY RU6 9VER THEM, SMILING S9FTLY* WHY W9ULD MY F9LL9WERS EVER WANT T9 CHANGE SUCH PERFECTI9N?

CG: B-BECAUSE...THEY DIDN'T WANT THE OTHER SEADWELLERS TO FIND ME. THE VIOLETS AREN'T SO GOOD AT IT, BUT THE TYRIANS ARE LIKE SHARKS. THEY CAN SMELL YOUR BLOOD COLOR FROM MILES AWAY.

♋: THE TYRIANS....CALL THEM FUSCHIANS PLEASE. N9T ALL 9F THEM ARE TYRANTS AND I KN9W MY LITTL FEFERI W9ULD M9RE THAN PLEASED T9 KN9W SHE HAS A TWIN 6R9THER *C9NTINUES T9 STR9KE THE GILLS, LETTING 9UT A S9FT PURR*

CG: *A TRILLING PURR RUMBLED IN HIS THORAX* SH-SHE DOES KNOW. NOW. AND ERIDAN...ERIDAN WANTED TO MURDER THE ONES WHO REMOVED MY FINS, BUT THEY'RE THE ONLY ONES BESIDES GAMZEE. ONLY BECAUSE THEY HAD TO TEACH ME HOW TO HANDLE MY HEAT CYCLE. IT'S...IT'S THE OTHERS THAT I'M WORRIED ABOUT. *HE SHIVERED, THE TOUCH BOTH PLEASUREABLE AND NEW.*

♋: WHY? SH9ULD A RULER LIE T9 THEIR PE9PLE T9 6E SAFE? WHAT SHAME IS THERE IN 6EING 69TH THE S9N 9F MY 6L99D AND THE S9N 9F HER 6L99D? SHE, F9R ALL HER FAULTS, SHE WAS A LEADER WH9 C9ULD GET THINGS D9NE AND UNDERST99D HER J96. SHE WAS AM6ITI9US AND WANTED T9 PUSH TR9LLS T9 THEIR P9TENTIAL. WHY SHE WANTED A W9RTHY HEIR. WHY SHE PICKED Y9U. *LEANS IN T9 GENTLE KISS THE GILLS*

CG: *HE ACTUALLY GROANS, A FULL BODY SHIVER BETRAYING THAT HE'S REALLY NEVER BEEN TOUCHED LIKE THIS* TH-THEY...I D-DON'T THINK THEY'D UNDERSTAND.

CG: TH-THEY'D THINK I W-WOULD BE JUST LIKE HER.

♋: 6UT Y9U ARENT LIKE HER. Y9U HAVEN'T 6EEN LIKE HER HAVE Y9U? WHY W9ULD THEY THINK Y9U W9ULD SUDDENLY CHANGE AT REVEALING WH9 Y9U ARE? *SHIFTS UP S9 HE IS FACE T9 FACE WITH KARKAT* WHY IS9LATE Y9URSELF S9 MUCH?

CG: *WIDE CRIMSON EYES, TOUCHED WITH A FLICKER OF FEAR, BLINK UP TO MEET HIS* NO I HAVEN'T BEEN LIKE HER, BUT...THEY ASSUME...AND...IF BEING ALONE MAKES THE COUNTRY HAPPIER THEN I'LL DO IT. ANYTHING TO KEEP THE PEACE.

♋: AN UNHAPPY RULER D9ESN'T MAKE A HAPPY NATI9N KARKAT....*AND HE CUPS HIS CHIN* EVEN A RULER NEEDS PITY...NEEDS L9VE. THAT IS WHY C9NDY CAME T9 ME....*AND HE LEANS IN T9 KISS HIM*

CG: *THE MOAN HE LETS OUT AT THE BRUSH OF LIPS AGAINST HIS OWN IS BOTH PAINED AND NEEDY, LIKE HE'S BOTH AROUSED TO FULLY UNSHEATHED AND ABOUT TO CRY IN ONE SOUND*

♋: *HE PULLS AWAY, GENTLE STR9KING HIS H9RNS* SHHHHH....I JUST WANT T9 HELP Y9U RELIEVE S9ME STRESS....

CG: N-NOBODY EVER... *HE TRAILS OFF AT THE SENSATION OF HIS HORNS BEING PLAYED WITH, HIS BREATH CATCHING JUST A BIT*

♋: 6ECAUSE Y9U KEEP EVERY9NE AWAY AT ARMS LENGTH WITH Y9UR ANGER....JUST LIKE SHE DID. *SMILES A 6IT AND LEANS IN T9 KISS HIS NECK*

CG: S-SAFER...MMGH...THAT WAY. *HIS HANDS COME UP TO GRIP SIGNLESS' HIPS, BUT STOP THERE, LIKE HE'S AFRAID TO MOVE FORWARD, OR MAYBE...DOESN'T KNOW HOW*

♋: 6UT N9T HEALTHY...Y9U CAN QUICKLY 6EC9ME A 6ITTER TR9LL WITH9UT S9ME9NE T9 L9VE Y9U....*SHIFTS T9 KISS L9WER D9WN HIS CHEST. HIS HANDS M9VE THE 9NES 9N HIS HIPS* G9 AHEAD....

CG: I...I DON'T...I'VE NEVER...THE ONLY TIME I'VE PAILED WAS DURING MY HEATWEEK, AND...ERI...HE DID MOST OF THE WORK... *HE BLUSHES, SHIFTING HIS FEET A LITTLE DUE TO THE WAY HIS PANTS ARE NO LONGER COMFORTABLE*

♋: THEN MAY6E IT IS TIME Y9U LEARN....*CHUCKLES, H99KING KARKAT'S PANTS AND SL9WLY PULLS THEM D9WN* D9N'T THINK A69UT IT. D9 WHAT FEELS RIGHT....

CG: OH! *HE GASPS AT THE COOL AIR AGAINST HIS SKIN* O-OKAY... *HIS VOICE IS SHAKEY, BUT MORE TO THE WAY HIS BREATHING HAS PICKED UP THAN NERVES*

♋: *HE CHUCKLES AND PRESSES KISSES AGAINST KARKAT'S ST9MACH LIGHTLY* THIS IS JUST A69UT UNWINDING...

CG: *HIS FINGERS TREMBLE AS HE TRACES THE BRIGHT RED RIBBING UP TO THE TOP OF THE RIGHTEOUS LEGGINGS, SLIPPING HIS FINGERS UNDER THE EDGE TENTATIVELY, LIKE HE'S WORRIED THAT THE ANCESTOR WILL PULL BACK AND CLAIM THAT THIS HAS ALL BEEN A TEST AND HE'S FAILED*

♋: *HE GIVES A LIGHT HUM 9F APPR9VAL, ARCHING UP INT9 HIS T9UCH SL9WLY, 9NE HAND M9VING UP T9 RU6 HIS H9RNS T9 ENC9URAGE HIM* Y9U ARE D9ING FINE...

CG: *WITH THE SAME PURR BEGINNING IN HIS CHEST AGAIN, HE PUSHED DOWN AT THE ELASTIC, EXPOSING HIS ANCESTOR'S SKIN, SCARRED AND WORN AS IT WAS. HE DIDN'T THINK HE'D EVER SEEN SOMETHING SO PERFECT.*

♋: *HE GIVES A L9UDER L9W PURR AS HE PULLS D9WN THE LEGGINGS, LEANING IN T9 PRESS H9T KISSES AGAINST KARKAT'S NECK AS HIS HANDS M9VE D9WN T9 CUP HIS REARE LIGHTLY*

CG: *HIS HANDS REST LIGHTLY ON THE OTHER'S HIPS AGAIN, BREATHING HEAVILY* MAYBE...MAYBE WE SHOULD TAKE THIS...TO A PILE OR SOMETHING?

♋: A PILE? *ARCHES AN EYE6R9W WITH A CHUCKLE* H9W A69UT T9 A 6ED? PERS9NALLY I D9N'T LIKE H9RNS JAMMED IN MY SPINE WHEN PAILING...

CG: A...BED? LIKE THE HUMANS USE? IF...IF THAT'S WHAT YOU WANT. *HE LOOKS A LITTLE LOST, SOMEWHAT CONFUSED, BUT MORE AROUSED THAN ANYTHING ELSE, BLOOD COLORING HIS CHEEKS AND DARKENING HIS EYES*

♋: WHY N9T TRY IT? S9METHING T9...SPICE UP THE L9VE LIFE N9? *CHUCKLES AND PLANTS A KISS 9N HIS LIPS 6EF9RE STANDING UP*

CG: *HE FOLLOWS AS THOUGH THE KISS WAS A LINE ATTACHED TO HIS LIPS AND HE MUMBLES* NOT MUCH OF A LOVE LIFE TO SPICE UP. I...WITH ERIDAN IT IN THE WATER...THE UNDERGROUND POOL BENEATH US.

♋: PERS9NALLY I D9N'T LIKE 6EING WET WHEN I PAIL...RATHER 6E PILL9WED IN S9FT 6EDDING WITH Y9UR L9VER AND Y9U KISSING AND 6UMPING AND GRINDING LIKE Y9U WERE THE LAST TW9 TR9LLS 9N EARTH...H9T AND HEAVY *Y9U CHUCKLES AS Y9U 9PEN THE D99R INT9 A 6EDR99M, SEARCHING F9R A 6ED*

CG: *NORMALLY THERE WOULDN'T BE ONE, BUT THIS HAPPENS TO BE THE SPARE ROOM WHERE JOHN STAYS WHEN HE'S AT THE CASTLE, SO THERE, AGAINST THE FAR WALL IS A PROPERLY MADE HUMAN CONCUPISCENT COUCH. KARKAT BLUSHES AGAIN* THAT SOUNDS NICE.

♋: S9UNDS NICE? I'M A69UT T9 DEM9NSTRATE IT T9 Y9U *GRINS AND PULLS KARKAT INT9 THE 6ED, FALLING 9NT9 IT AND PULLING THE EMPER9R D9WN WITH HIM CHUCKLING*

CG: *IN THE FALL THEIR HIPS MET WITH ONLY THE FABRIC OF HIS PANTS TO KEEP HIS MOSTLY STILL UNSHEATHED BULGE FROM WRITHING AGAINST THE OTHER'S SEEDFLAP, IT DREW A GASP THAT WAS HALF MOAN FROM THE STOCKY TROLL*

♋: *HE LETS 9UT A GR9AN, SHIVERING IN PLEASURE AT THE FRICITI9N, ARCHING HIS HIPS T9 GRIND AGAINST KARKAT M9RE* THAT'S IT.....<3

CG: *THE EMPEROR GROWLED A PLEASURED NOISE THAT HAD BLOOD SURGING TO HIS BULGE EVEN THOUGH HE'D MADE IT, AND HE ROLLED HIS HIPS, CURLING HIS BACK SO HE COULD NIP AT SIGNLESS' COLLARBONES* PANTS...GOTTA GO...

♋: *HE GIVES S9FT TRILLS 9F PLEASURE N9W AS KARKAT STARTS T9 NIP AND GRING 6ACK, HIS HANDS DRAGGING AL9NG KARKAT'S 6ACK JUST EN9UGH T9 LEAVE FAINT RED MARKS* ...THEN Y9U 6ETTER REM9VE THEM...Y9UR HIGHNESS.

CG: AH! *THE PLEASURE-PAIN CAUSED HIS BACK TO ARCH IN THE OTHER DIRECTION, AS HIS CLAWS DUG INTO THE BED* T-TAKE THEM OFF OF ME?

♋: *HE CHUCKLES AND SLIDES HIS HANDS D9WN T9 LETTING HIS HAND TRAIL AL9NG UNSHEATHED 6ULGE* IF Y9U CAN THINK STRAIGHT EN9UGH T9 EVEN GET THEM 9FF...

CG: NGH! *HIS HIPS BUCKED AGAINST THE TOUCH, THE TENTACLE WITHIN TRYING DESPERATELY TO CURL AROUND THE TEASING FINGERS, BUT HIS SHOULDERS SEEMED TO HAVE LOCKED UP, KEEPING HIM FROM ACTUALLY BEING ABLE TO SHIFT ENOUGH TO GET THEM OFF. HIS BODY WAS SO DESPERATE FOR ATTENTION, SO TIGHTLY WOUND, IT WAS A WONDER HIS BULGE COULD EMERG AT ALL.*

♋: *HE CHUCKLES AND SITS UP T9 START T9 PUSH 9FF KARKAT'S PANTS, SHAKING HIS HEAD* Y9U ARE S9 TENSE.....*HE STARTS T9 STR9KE THE TENTACLE N9W WITH 9NE HAND, THE 9THER M9VING T9 TRACE THE ENTRANCE T9 HIS SEEDFLAP

CG: *HE GROANS, THE BRIGHT RED BULGE CURLING AND WRAPPING AROUND HIS ANCESTOR'S FINGERS. IT'S LONGER AND THINNER THAN TYPICAL OF WARM COLORED BLOOD, WITH RIDGES LIKE PSEUDO-GILLS ALONG IT, BUT IT'S NOT LONG ENOUGH OR THIN ENOUGH TO BE A SEADWELLER'S. IN SHORT, IT'S A PERFECT BALANCE BETWEEN THE TWO, JUST LIKE HE WAS IN EVERY OTHER WAY.*

♋: *SIGNLESS PURRS AND LETS THE 6ULGE M9VE A69UT HIS FINGERS. GENTLE HE PUSHES KARKAT 9NT9 HIS 6ACK AND GLANCES UP AT THE EMPER9R 6EF9RE LEANING IN T9 TAKE THE 6ULGE INT9 HIS M9UTH, LETITNG HIS T9NGUE TRAIL 9VER THE SQUIRMING 6ULGE*

CG: NGH AH! *HIS HIP ARCH UP, TOES AND FINGERS CURLING INTO THE SHEETS, AND THE LIPS OF HIS NOOK DRIP*

♋: *HE PURR,S PULLING 9FF THE 6ULGE AND DR9PS L9WER T9 SWIPE HIS T9NGUE 9VER KARKAT'S N99K NEXT* I TAKE IT Y9U D9N'T GET THIS TREATMENT 9FTEN.....

CG: N-NEVER! E-EVEN ERIDA-AHN DIDN'T DO THIS SORT OF THING. *HE SQUIRMS AGAIN, A HAND OF HIS OWN COMING UP TO KEEP HIS BULGE FROM WRAPPING AROUND SIGNLESS' HORN*

♋: MMM....WELL I THINK Y9U DESERVE THIS S9RT 9F ATTENTI9N, MY KING CRA6 *HE PURRS AND DIPS HIS T9NGUE INT9 HIS N99K M9RE*

CG: *HIS HIPS SHIFT, THE MUSCLES OF HIS NOOK TRYING TO TAKE THE OTHER'S TONGUE IN DEEPER, AS HIS VOICE DISSOLVES INTO WHIMPERING MOANS*

♋: *AFTER A 6IT HE PULLS AWAY AN SITS UP, SHRUGGING 9FF HIS CL9AK AND M9VING T9 TUG HIS RIGHTE9US LEGGINS ALL THE WAY 9FF N9W, EYES CL9UDED IN LUST AS HE L99KS D9WN AT KARKAT* Y9U ARE PERFECT....

CG: *HE MOANS, LIKE THE WORDS THEMSELVES ARE A LOVER'S CARESS, AND HIS BULGE WRITHES IN HIS HAND, SCARLET SEMI-TRANSPARENT LUBRICATING FLUIDS LEAKING FROM BOTH NOOK AND THE PORES OF HIS TENTACLE*

♋: *THE SIGNLESS SITS UP A 6IT AND SHIFTS F9RWARD, HIS 9WN 6ULGE SLIDES UP AGAINST KARKAT'S S9MEWHAT 6EF9RE M9VING D9WARDS, ATTRACTED T9 THE WARMTH 9F HIS N99K* IS THIS Y9UR FIRST TIME?

CG: *HE NODS, BUT EVEN AS HE DOES SO HIS HIPS ARE CANTING TO WELCOME THE OTHER'S APPENDAGE* W-WITH ERI, HE JUST...SORT OF...SLIPPED MY BULGE INTO HIS NOOK AND LET EVERYTHING JUST HAPPEN.

♋: *GIVES A N9D AND LEANS F9RWARD T9 KISS HIM GENTLY* I'LL 6E GENTLE THEN 9N Y9UR FIRST TIME....*AND HE 6EGINS T9 PUSH INT9 KARKAT, H9LDING HIS HIPS STEADY*

CG: *THE INTRUSION IS LIKE NOTHING HE'S EVER FELT BEFORE. THERE'S SOME PAIN, BUT MOSTLY PLEASURE, INTENSE, MIND-NUMBING PLEASURE. HIS BACK ARCHES, TRYING TO MAKE HIS ANCSETOR GO FASTER, BUT CAN'T REALLY DO MUCH WITH THE WAY HE'S BEING HELD DOWN, AND HE MOANS, CRYING OUT IN PLEASURE WITH A CHURRING SORT OF TRILL*

♋: *HE IS PANTING, LETTING 9UT A M9AN AS HE PUSHES DEEPER INT9 KARKAT AND EVENTUALLY IS FULLY SHEATHED HIM. HE PAUSES 9NLY A M9MMENT 6UT SPURRED 9N 6Y THE TRILLS AND GASPS, HE STARTS T9 M9VE N9W, RYTHMICALLY THRUSTING INT9 HIS DESCENDANT* AH....9H YES....

CG: *HIS NOOK CLENCHES AND THE TRILLING BECOMES BREATHY CHIRPS, HIS BULGE COILING ON ITSELF, AND HE BRINGS HIS HAND BACK TO GIVE IT SOMETHING TO RUB AGAINST BESIDES THE TONED PLANES OF THE OLDER TROLL'S STOMACH*

♋: *HE 6EGINS T9 M9VE THEN, R9CKING AND R9LLING HIS HIPS AGAINST KARKAT'S, HIS 6ULGE JERKING A69UT IN THE N99K, PRESSING UP AGAINST NERVES AND TRYING T9 W9RM ITS WAY IN DEEPER. HE PANTS, SLIDING T9 PUT HIS HANDS 9N EITHER SIDE 9F KARKAT'S HEAD AS HE LEANS IN T9 KISSHIS IMPERIAL DEVASTATI9N WITH A L9W M9AN*

CG: *HIS THRUSTS HIS TONGUE INTO HIS ANCESTOR'S MOUTH, GROANING AS WELL, WHILE WRAPPING HIS LEGS AROUND THE OTHER'S HIPS TO DRAW THE WRITHING BULGE AS DEEP AS HE COULD GET IT*

♋: *HE PICKS UP THE PACE, PRESSING HARDER AND FASTER INT9 KARKAT, PANTING AND MEETING HIS KISS WITH A FURI9US PASSI9N, CLAWS, DIGGING AGAINST SKIN AS THE TW9 M9VE AS 9NE*

CG: *AFTER A VERY SHORT WHILE, DURING WHICH HIS BODY WINDS ITSELF TIGHTER AND TIGHTER IN A HOT COIL, HE BEGINS TO MUMBLE, SOMEWHAT INCOHERENTLY* S-SIGN...SIGNLESS...I'M...IT'S...WE NEED A...NGH! JUST...AH...

♋: A -AH...! A WHAT...? *HE PANTS KISSING AGAINST KARKAT'S NECK, HIS M9VEMENTS 6EC9ME M9RE ERRATIC AS HE DRAWS CL9SER T9 HIS PEAK*

CG: A P-PAIL...I'M...SO...IT'S...AH...NGH... *HE GRIPPED THE OLDER TROLL'S ARM, EYES CLOSED AND HEAD THROWN BACK, CLEARLY CLOSE TO ORGASM*

♋: D9NT....D9NT HAVE 9NE...D9 NGH...Y9U...? *HE GASPS 9UT, CLAWS DIGGING INT9 HIS HIPS N9W*

CG: *UNABLE TO SPEAK FOR THE PANTING CHURRING MOANS ESCAPING HIS VOICE BOX, HE SHAKES HIS HEAD, AND SOMEHOW THAT DRIVES HIS LUST HIGHER, HIS SECRETIONS HEAVIER, AND THE GRIP ON SIGNLESS' ARM AND HIPS TIGHTER, AS WELL AS THE CLENCHING IN HIS NOOK. HE'S JUST...A...FEW...MORE...* AHNGHAH!!! *AND HE'S COMING, SCARLET FLUID POOLING BENEATH THEM, HIS BODY SHUDDERING IN PLEASURE, EVEN A FEW TEARS ESCAPE HIS CLENCHED LIDS*

♋: *HE KEEPS G9ING, HURTLING 9VER THE EDGE N9T FAR 6EHIND KARKAT, LETTING 9UT A CRY 9F HIS 9WN, CLAWS DIGGING IN DEEP EN9UGH T9 DRAW A 6IT 9F 6L99D AS HE FINALLY PEAKS, HIS 6ULGE TENSING AS IT RELEASES FLUDIS DEEP INT9 THE QUAKING TR9LL 6ENEATH HIM, EYES SHUT TIGHT IM PLEASURE* AHHH! KARKAT! *HE REMAINS TENSED, PANTING 9VER KARKAT 6EF9RE SL9WLY RELAXING HIS GRIP*

CG: *AFTERSHOCKS HAD THE EMPEROR SHIVERING, HIS BULGE RETRACTING SLOWLY, BUT BEFORE THE FLUIDS DRIED SO THE MOTION WOULD BE SLICK WITH AS LITTLE FRICTION ON THE SENSITIVE TENTACLE AS POSSIBLE. HE WAS STILL PANTING, CHIRPING SLIGHTLY WITH EACH BREATH, AS HE NUZZLED UP UNDER SIGNLESS' CHIN, LICKING AND NIPPING A LITTLE AT THE EXPOSED SKIN IN THE MANNER OF ALL SUBMISSIVE CREATURES, THANKS TO THE FUZZY AFTERGLOW*

♋: *HE GIVES A L9W PURR AT THE LICKS AGAINST HIS NECK, SHIFTING A 6IT T9 NUZZLE THE 9THER GENTLE AS HE LAZILY R9LLS T9 THE SIDE S9MEWHAT, 6ASKING IN THE AFTERGL9W AND IN N9 HURRY T9 PULL 9UT*....Y9U ARE A NATURAL KARKAT....

CG: *HIS BODY WAS RIPPLING SORT OF, IN A GENTLE SQUEEZE EVERY SO OFTEN AGAINST THE BULGE STILL INSIDE OF HIM* REALLY? *HE WAS TOO MELLOW TO EVEN BLUSH*

♋: YES...*NUZZLES HIM LIGHTLY, PURRING S9FTLY, EYES CL9SED C9NTENTLY*

CG: HEH...THANKS. *HE CURLS A BIT CLOSER, ROLLING THEM A LITTLE FURTHER SO THAT HE'S NOT LAYING IN THE PUDDLE OF CRIMSON SPOOGE, AND SIGHS CONTENTEDLY*

♋: *HE SHIFTS, GATHERING KARKAT INT9 HIS ARMS T9 M9VE AWAY FR9M THE MESS THEY LEFT, PR9PING HIMSELF UP M9RE 9N THE PILL9WS AND LETTING THE EMER9R REST UP AGAINST HIS CHEST, FINALLY PULLING 9UT 9F HIM* G99DNIGHT...KARKAT. *HE DID N9T KN9W H9W L9NG HE W9ULD 6E AL9WED T9 LINGER 6UT HE W9ULD STAY F9R AS L9NG AS HE C9ULD*

CG: MM? *HE WAS ALREADY DRIFTING HIMSELF, IT JUST FELT TOO GOOD TO BE CURLED UP WITH ANOTHER PERSON. THE FACT THAT THAT PERSON WAS SIGNLESS JUST MADE THINGS BETTER. HE KNEW, HE UNDERSTOOD, HE'D LIVED THE SAME SORT OF HEMOPHOBIC HOOFBEASTSHIT KARKAT HAD LIVED, THE ONLY MAJOR DIFFERENCE WAS KARKAT HAD SURVIVED. SO, HE CURLED EVEN CLOSER WITH A STEADY PURR AND MUMBLED* G'NIGHT.

♋: NIGHT L9VE...*SIGNLESS MURMURED AGAINST HIM SLEEPILY, STR9KING HIS HAIR

Signless [♋] disconnected.

His Imperial Devastation [CG] disconnected.


	4. Broken Promises

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Soul Society is falling, the era of the Shinigami is at an end, but one man finds peace amid the chaos.

Agony...crushing, mind-claiming agony...and then it all stopped. For a moment he hung, suspended between places. His eyes no longer saw the bright blue sky above, but he whispered to a wind he could no longer hear, "Renji...Rukia...Forgive me..."

A blinding light enveloped his senses, and he knew he had crossed over to that place where Soul Reapers go to rejoin the cycle of rebirth. It was warm and not warm, filled with voices and silent, blindingly bright and unfathomably dark, but through the chaos that was the beginning of all things, a single hand reached out and touched his cheek. His own sword-calloused palm gripped the other's tightly. He felt a welling up within his chest, a burning tightness, and he found there was something like liquid running down his cheeks through the smears of dried blood.

"Shh..." A soft voice said. "You're alright now."

"H-Hisana..." He spoke in an anguished whisper. "I...I couldn't keep...any of the promises I made to you."

"My handsome husband, don't speak of such things." She sounded like the music of a distant bird.

"I...failed..."

"No. No, Byakuya-sama, you did not fail."

Outside the rumble of collapsing buildings and the screams of dying Shinigami were kept silent by the boundaries of that special place. Even as those screaming joined the ranks of souls waiting to be reborn, he did not notice. For the first time in over fifty years, his heart was light, and his grief eased for the gentle, precious woman he had rescued from the Rukongai foulness. For a moment that lasted for eternity, they were together again.


	5. I Know Different

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I just didn't know how much he meant to me...until he was gone.

Everything looks normal, but me? I know different.

This wasn't supposed to last forever, but I don't understand what went wrong. I mean there we were one minute, the same as always and the next? He was gone. It was like the world bottomed out from under me. I hadn't realized how much he'd meant to me till now. It seemed like we'd always been connected and that no matter where I turned he was always there. But now, when all the dust has settled and the sun has dawned again, there is an emptiness in me where he used to be. I am happy though, and I'm not sure I can put my finger on the real problem. But I am happy. Or, at least, I act happy. I can never truly be happy. I've seen too much, done too much, crossed too many lines for me to be happy and 'normal'. What is normal anyway? My friends carry on and live their lives as though everything is okay, but me? I know different.

I can see the scars on this life as though they were physical ruts in the earth. I see them in the way people look at me, as though I'm some kind of freak. Like I'm not human anymore, which I guess in some ways I'm not. I mean, who can be human with a gaping hole where your heart used to be? So, yeah, everything is great and fine, right? Yeah, but I know different.

Move on they say, but really? How do you replace your One? Mmm, if I close my eyes and breathe deeply I can still smell that scent that was totally him. Nothing else mattered when I smelled that scent. What was going on in the world around us faded away and it was just me and him, him and me. Yeah, I can really move on from that. Torturous time turns the seasons and gives me yet one more day of practicing at being okay. They begin to think I've moved on, but I know different.

I wonder if somewhere he's still out there, waiting for me the way I wait for him. It keeps me moving forward, lets me put one foot down in front of the other. Some days I can almost feel his arms wrapping around me, holding me close, but when I open my eyes, I know different.

* * *

"So, when are you gonna actually tell him that you're still here?" The voice asked walking behind me.

"I can't do anything until he can see me again. You know that." I answered, with more pain than I intended.

"Yeah. Like that's gonna happen." The voice sneered in disgust.

I sighed. If only they knew what I know. They think it can't be reversed. They think that he's lost forever. That he'll never come back to us. That we'll forever have to watch from the outside, unable to touch him, unable to interact with him, but me? Heh. I know different.


	6. Walking Captain Style

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A new promotion means celebration, right? Misheard lyrics/parody drabble of Gangam Style by Psy.

"So, Renji got the Fifth, eh?" Ichigo asked, looking down at Rukia, as they walked through Seireitei. He had his arms crossed over his chest, thinking about it. He'd been offered every Captain position except the Sotaicho's. "Byakuya must be proud of him."

"Yes, Nii-sama recommended him for it. I think he's a little sad to see him leave the Sixth, but we all knew he was ready for it, even before the war." The violet-eyed midget smiled, thinking about her childhood friend and how far the two of them had come since then. "Nii-sama's going to need a new vice-captain, you know." She egged.

The orangette snorted, "Yeah, right. Me work with Byakuya? Are you asking for me to kill your brother?"

Rukia laughed, and almost said something else when Ichigo put a hand on her shoulder. A thumping drum beat reached their ears. Both stopped frowning in confusion, turned in the direction of the Fifth. Muffled synthesizer gradually grew louder, and the bouncing crimson ponytail of the very captain that had been the subject of their conversation appeared around a corner carrying an old fashioned tape player on his shoulder. His haori flared out, though he wore no kosode or shitagi under it, as he shuffled his way down the street to the techno beat of the music. He had a brand new pair of Gintonbo sunglasses over his eyes and his head bent to help hold the stereo on his shoulder.

Behind him, sporting the same sunglasses and dancing down the street in the same pattern, was the Shinigami Men's Association, also going shirtless. As they got closer the orangette and his midget partner could make out the words the group was singing.

The train of men yelled, "What are you doing?"

"I don't know." Renji answered.

They all shouted,"Hey!"

Looking at Rukia, Renji grinned singing, "Babe, I don't Know."

Followed by a second shouted, "Hey!

They did it again, Renji getting more animated and louder with the repetition, flailing his free arm in wild gestures. "Shake 'em out til Ran'ku gives her show."

A final, "Hey!" from the others triggered a series of stomping moves that sounded like a drum roll over the synthesizer.

There was a pause, where Renji froze in front of Ichigo and Rukia, setting the boom box on the ground. Then he sang, "Walkin' captain style. Captain style. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walkin' captain style." He repeated it, and Ichigo's eyebrow twitched. The two watching exchanged a look, as the redhead spun past them, trying to draw them into his insane display.

The chorus behind him chanted, "Hey, sexy lady!" as Renji spun around, taking the midget's hands and shouting, "Walk. Walk. Walk. Walk. Walkin' captain style." Ichigo's eyebrow twitched harder, and he glared at the boom box.

Apparently the troupe of celebrants decided that the orangette and his partner were no fun, because just before he smashed the electronic device, Renji snatched it back up, rattling off some sort of second verse about running the Soul Society as a captain. He led the psychotic parade off repeating what was obviously the chorus down the street leaving Ichigo and Rukia behind, bewildered and mildly disturbed.

Ichigo spoke first, "Well, that was…"

"Yeah."

"Did any of the others…?"

Rukia shook her head, "Nope."

"Okay then."


	7. Conquer the World

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> At the end of times, three remain to battle for the fate of Azeroth! The Horde is gone. The Alliance-destroyed. The heroes have fallen and evil has claimed what it believe is rightfully theirs. But what happens next? When all that's left to do is compete with your fellow megalomaniacs. Surely something must be done! Only one can truly rule the world!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was inspired by my brother's comment that assuming the villains of WoW won, would the big bads then turn to each other to squabble who got to keep the world? Which made me think of small children arguing over a ball, and thus, this drabble was born. =D

The mountain was high, but the prize, the Orb of Azeroth, at the top was worth it. His glowing blue eyes flashed, and narrowed meeting the glowing orange set directly across from him. The grey-skinned male with the dark grey hair and the metal brace on his jawbone growled. The first contender glared, pulled on his helmet, covering his white hair with the black metal crown-like headgear, and gripped the hilt of his sword, the runes on the blade glowing the same color as his eyes. It was on! Both warriors attacked the mountain between them, kicking and swinging swords, trying to knock the other off. They ascended the peak at the same time, still squabbling, and yelling.

Suddenly a third competitor came flying up the mountain, a bandage around his glowing green eyes, purple skin with swirls of green carved into his chest and shoulders. Large curving horns swept back over his head and wide, vicious wings spread from his back to help his balance. His black hair, in a ponytail, streamed behind him as he shifted the grip on his double-bladed sabre-style blades in both hands. The blades cut down the other two, and he dove on the orb that awaited the three on top of the mountain.

The white-haired 'king' gritted his teeth, gripping the hilt of his runeblade tighter. The draconic other rolled his shoulders, settling the rock-like armor around his body better. Both pounced the demonic-elf, fighting and growling as the three tumbled towards the ball on the pedestal.

"Azeroth is mine!" The first growled, swinging his blade. "Frostmourne hungers!"

The second roared. "Look upon me and you see death incarnate: The Unmaker of Worlds! It is mine!"

The three clashed again and the third used his wings to block the other two, knocking them to the ground at the base of the mountain. Standing victorious over the orb. "You are not prepared!" He shouted, holding the sphere aloft. "The world is mine!"

Suddenly a voice broke out over the raging of the two at the base of the mountain. "Boys! Time to come in!" The three froze, glaring at the offensive intruder. "Arthas, Illidan, Neltharion! Don't make me call you twice!"

As one the three sighed. Neltharion took off the cardboard armor that was colored to look like lava flowing through rocks. Arthas stabbed the stick he'd painted with blue symbols into the ground. Above them, on the hill, Illidan clutched the ball to him and pouted, as the other two trudged towards the kitchen door.

"Illidan…" The voice threatened again.

The dark-haired boy pouted, and threw the dark yellow and blue ball to the ground, ripping off the bandanna with attached sticks from around his head and throwing the paper towel tubes in his hands after the ball as it rolled away. He looked at the kitchen door and sighed, shrugging out of the backpack that was ducktaped to a pair of broken fan blades that the three had found in the junkyard nearby. He trudged into the house, under the watchful eye of the voice.

"Now, now, don't be upset. You can play Conquer the World later, now it's time for dinner. Even all powerful super villains have to eat one in a while, and wash off that paint from your arms before you come to the table."


	8. Beat It

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ichigo-centric drabble about what the strawberry does when he's all by himself.

Ichigo had a secret. Something he never indulged in unless he had the house to himself and he was certain that none of his family or friends could catch him doing it, not even Kon. Upon entering university he had been disappointed to learn that only fourth year students were allowed to apply for individual apartments. Now in his third year, he had not indulged in his darkest desire in a very long time. So, when he returned to his dorm room that Friday afternoon to discover that the others were out, he simply couldn't help himself.

Quickly digging into the back of his closet he retrieved a CD that was so old the words on the front had been worn away, but that was okay because he knew what it said. Furtively looking around before hitting play, he allowed himself a small secretive smile and pressed play. The loud, aggressive American music thundered out of his speakers and it was like truly coming home. He let the beat take his feet and began to sway his hips in time. By the time the singer started delivering his message, Ichigo was in fully swing, singing along and mimicking the moves he'd seen on the video he'd found over the internet. Unable to contain the feelings of comfort and the energy given to him by the song he danced his way into the common living area, heedless of the fact that his dormmates could return at any moment. He two-stepped into the kitchen, grabbed a drink from the fridge and did a small pivot back out to where he had more room to gyrate his hips. He bent back and touched the floor in a quick move, then straightened again and spun using the drink as a microphone only to freeze instantly when he opened his eyes.

"Uh?" The red-headed Shinigami raised a tattooed eyebrow in confusion at seeing his sparring partner acting in a way that was so contrary to his normal attitude.

The irony of the song's lyrics began to echo in Ichigo's horribly embarrassed brain. He tried to laugh but all he managed to do was sort of squeak, and suddenly any words he'd been planning to say died in his throat.

"Who's Michael Jackson?" Came the voice of the only Shinigami that ever accompanied Renji when they needed Ichigo.

The orangette squeezed his juice box so hard that the seal broke and the juice exploded all over his flushed face, shocking him out of his freeze. "WHAT THE HELL?" He roared. "I thought you people were supposed to knock when you came to get me!"

"Uh…" Was all Renji could say, looking between Ichigo and Rukia, both glaring at each other.

When no one spoke for a moment or two, Ichigo snatched the CD case out of Rukia's paws and stormed to his room before the next song came on to avoid questions about it. When he exited his room again, he'd wiped the juice from his face using a dirty shirt. "Well, what do you want?" He snarled, all of his previous relaxation gone now that he'd been discovered.

Renji still couldn't get two words together, so Rukia jabbed him in the ribs. "Uh…well, y'see…damnit, Rukia! Ow!" She jabbed again.

"Nii-sama and Renji are getting married, and we would all be honored if you would be Renji's best man." The violet-eyed midget rolled said eyes like she couldn't believe the idiocy of her almost-brother-in-law.

The permanent scowl Ichigo wore twitched for a moment. "R-Really?" He looked from Rukia to Renji and back again twice before he caught the subtle color spread across the tattooed Shinigami's face. Catching that Ichigo smirked, "Sure."


End file.
